"But there's mole sauce, right?" my boss remarked when I expressed my initial disgust at Lotteria's chocolate & honey mustard grilled chicken burger. There is mole sauce, it's true. And I love mole! Spicy chocolate is great! In fact, why not just do a mole burger? That would have been fine. What was not fine was . . .

It could just be that I am not built to eat Lotteria. The chicken sandwich was offensive before I even opened the chocolate. Half of the meat was actually fat and skin, and the bun was already getting soggy from the mayo splotch and sweet mustard sauce. The lettuce was entirely too biological in its sliminess.